Thursday, May 28, 2009

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

As I creep closer to age 30, I become increasingly prudish about things like sex on t.v. and teenagers with thongs peeking out of their jeans. It could be less about age and more about becoming a mother. Either way, let's just say I've grown up a bit since college.

This is the way it should be. At some point grown women are supposed to stop dressing like Britney Spears and men are supposed to stop shopping at Abercrombie. Meanwhile, adults earn a prerogative to talk about the next generation of oversexed slackers.

Leave it to Miami University to throw the universe off balance. The National Summit on Youth Culture, Popular Culture and Sexuality Education begins Friday at Miami with the purpose of, among other lofty pursuits, “affirming the okayness of the sexuality of all young people, as well as different sexual identities and orientations." Basically, this is a bunch of brainy grown-ups contriving ways to undermine any chance a wholesome-type might make it through high school as a virgin.

The scholars of human sexuality want us to "rethink" the way public school children learn about sex. I'm no scholar of human sexuality, but it seems to me the emphasis should be getting our public schoolchildren to think less about sex and more about school. While abstinence-only education is impracticable in light of the media's influence, school teachers and other adult mentors should be telling kids to get their head out of the sack and back in the books.

While this weirdo-fest happens to be in my backyard, it's not isolated. Bill O'Reilly's show Thursday included this segment about a pinhead Canadian professor who equated "sexting" to spin the bottle. Peter Cumming, of York University, also wrote
"In Bush's America, is there no middle ground between child pornography, sexual assault, abuse, and exploitation on the one hand and children's 'abstinence' on the other? When, in Western culture, did nudity become pornography, did children's sexuality become perverse, and when and how and why have we forgotten children's participatory rights as sexual beings?"

Children are sexual beings?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Another reason beauty pageants suck... and a checklist for those who aspire to pageantry greatness

I am glad The Donald allowed Carrie Prejean to retain her Miss California crown despite her bad judgement as a 17 year old posing in panties. The photos weren't *that bad* for that Kim Kardashian world we are living in. I also think it's safe to assume many women like Prejean, who desperately seek careers in modeling or acting, have some juicy photos or videos from the past.

But, I'm more glad The Donald addressed Prejean's scandalous answer to the gay marriage question, a question I feel never should have been asked in the first place. Perez Hilton has used the pageant as a platform for his cause and Prejean has been the punching bag. If he and the rest of the world weren't willing to accept both possible answers, he should have asked something less controversial.

She could have dodged the bullet with a non-answer. She could could have given into the pressure of knowing the media would fillet her the next day. Instead, she spoke honestly, directly, and politely:

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other ... same sex marriage or opposite marriage," then added, "I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman ... that's how I was raised."

Hilton told Larry King Live that her answer didn't cost her the crown, but "a candidate for Miss USA should have offered more inclusive answers."Ironically, Hilton's definition of "inclusive answer" excludes the fundamental belief that marriage should be only between one man and one woman.

For all the hell that's been raised about Prejean in the media, you would think she had been on a gay-bashing rampage. Interestingly, 54 percent of Americans agree with her stance, according to a recent CNN poll. Even President Obama has said this is his belief.

As if beauty pageants were bad enough for objectifying women and perpetuating physical standards of beauty that are unrealistic for the average woman, now the meat parades are not subject to the First Amendment. Well, unless you want to be a punching bag.

Still, some girls dream of being in the meat circus. To each her own. For the beautiful and aspiring among us, I have devised a check list:

  • Grow to at least 5'8"

  • Lose 25 lbs

  • Take nudie pics

  • Sing, dance or twirl a baton

  • Get boob job

  • Lose 5 more lbs

  • Sew mouth shut

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The doctor is out

A few weeks ago, I caught glimpse of a Rasmussen Report which reported the country was nearly divided on prefering capitalism or socialism. According to the study, conducted just one month ago, only 53% of American adults believe capitalism is the better system.

More telling: adults under 30 are essentially divided three ways with 37% preferring capitalism, 33% socialism and 30% undecided. It's easy to see how the undecideds could be wooed by lofty promises such as free healthcare for all, without considering the ramifications.